You’ve seen what eye-sores this can result in while reading our previous article about car trends that are no longer trendy. Apparently, though, there’s so much more where that came from as this article well demonstrates. Take a look at some more bygone vehicular fashions that can still be found on the road.
Complicated Storage
If automakers listened to some drivers, the inside of cars would be nothing but slots, pockets, nooks, and crannies.
Right now those drivers are spending aftermarket money to make existing cupholders slightly larger and more complicated.
Antenna Decorations
Even as automakers continue to shift away from traditional radio antennas, tchotchke manufacturers continue to churn out tons of toppers for older models.
They don’t signify the driver’s personal style so much as their disrespect for radio equipment.
Sticker Family
In the ’80s and ’90s, we endured countless “Baby on Board” placards and their myriad novelty variations.
Now, we’re onto multiple versions of the stick-figure family — each keeping inventory of just how many children and pets you’ve compiled. And as if that wasn’t enough, there are way too many satirical iterations of this trend on the road.
Reindeer Antlers
As if decorating your home for Christmas isn’t headache enough, now people decorate their cars… These could probably be considered the holiday equivalent of car lashes.
At one point, this may have seemed novel and clever, but at this point — with the antlers and red nose now mass-marketed — it’s just yet another way to phone in some holiday spirit.
Racing Seats
Are you taking your Toyota Camry out on the track anytime soon? Do you think your Ford Escape is going to beat someone off the line? No?
Then don’t go installing auto-racing hardware in a production vehicle. At best, you look like a moron. At worst, you’re actually making yourself less safe.
Superficial Reverse Lights
Reverse lights serve an important purpose in telling other drivers that you are backing up. However, car manufacturers now customize aspects of the lights.
For example, when you remote-lock your car, the reverse lights come on and you can set them to stay on for several minutes. This is just pointless and uses up your battery for no good reason.
Whistle Tips
Whistle tips are just a really annoying way of making your exhaust louder. More than a decade later, they are still here.
Once confined to the Bay Area, they’re now available pretty much anywhere. The thing is, other than making everyone within earshot of your car hate you, they don’t do much.
Everything Being an SUV
These days many car manufacturers are making SUV versions of their vehicles. You can get a Lamborghini SUV, Porsche SUV, and even a Bentley SUV.
The funny thing is that almost all of them have poor gas mileage, which is fine if you live in a snowy area without civilized roads. In cities, though, it just means more expensive repairs.
Unnecessary Driving Modes
Nowadays, many cars come with pre-set modes you can use to change how a car drives. For example, most Land Rovers have loads of modes optimised for off-road driving.
With that being said, some cars have settings that seem really out of place. Does the 600hp, 155mph Audi RS6 Avant really need a fuel-saving ‘efficiency’ setting?
Getting Rid of Spare Wheels
Spare wheels used to be commonplace in most cars, but now they’ve been replaced by tire repair kits.
While they have their benefits, there is something reassuring about having a proper spare wheel on standby if one of your tires gets punctured.
Confusing Names
Many car manufacturers have their own strategies when it comes to naming their products, and some are easier to figure out than others. For example, ‘TSI’, ‘GDi’, ‘PureTech’ and ‘SCe’ are different terms for petrol engines.
It’s even more confusing when car makers remove the reference to the engine size– just by looking at their names, would you have known the ’30 TDI’ and ’35 TDI’ versions of the Audi A3 Sportback are powered by 2-liter diesel engines?
Touchscreen Controls
Thanks to touchscreen systems, the days of car interiors being covered in buttons are basically behind us. However, some car makers have taken this minimalist approach to a whole new level, by porting almost all of the controls onto the touchscreen.
This is fine for when you’re inputting an address into the navigation system while you’re stationary. However, it’s not so useful when you’re trying to adjust the aircon while you’re driving…
Engine Start Buttons
While there isn’t anything wrong with pressing a button to start a car, the issue is that there isn’t an ignition slot for the key to go in, so now there’s no longer a dedicated home for the car’s key.
This means you’ll have to put up with it rattling in the glovebox or cup holder while you’re driving along. So, starter buttons are fine for sports cars, not fine for your average family runaround.
Plastic Trim
Black trim on cars is quite a popular finish, as the added effect helps make the cabin look and feel more premium. However, there are downsides to having it in your car.
It can be a bit distracting when you’re driving, and you’ll need to keep the black plastic constantly clean if you don’t want it blemished by dust and scratch marks.
Flashy Wheel Lights
These flashy lights are not only gaudy, but they’re also illegal in some areas. Make your wheels glow at your own peril.
With each added set of lighting to a car, it just looks tackier and less impressive, and why risk it if it could get you into legal trouble?
Steering Wheel Covers
If you’re getting a printed steering wheel cover, it isn’t to protect your hands from the hot summer sun or the chill of winter: It’s to play dress-up.
While cute, a monster steering wheel cover serves no practical purpose.
Carbon Fabric
Fake carbon fiber trim on cars has been around for a while, and this fad has now evolved into a new form: carbon-fiber effect fabric.
While we can understand the idea of applying a carbon fiber pattern on pieces of the interior or bodywork, replicating the weave pattern on seat inserts is taking the trend perhaps a step too far.
Too Many Gears
There are good reasons for cars to have more gears in their gearboxes. For instance, you can have lots of short gears to improve acceleration, and a longer top one to maximize economy on motorways.
However, as the saying goes, you can have too much of a good thing — is it overkill to fit a 10-speed automatic to a 450hp Ford Mustang GT muscle car?
Illuminated Grilles
If big front grilles weren’t’ annoying enough, now carmakers have only gone and fitted them with lights for added illumination.
While it’s not a common trend right now, you can guarantee it’ll be more widely available if enough buyers decide it’s worth ticking that box on the options list.
Muscle Cars Slower Than a Minivan
The glory days of the American muscle car throughout the 1960s conjure nostalgic images of V8 engines dominating drag races.
But like everything else in the world, technology has had a compound effect on the automobile. Classic cars that were once so admired for their exceptional performance are now mostly relics.
Plastidip
Also known as “plastic dip”, this layer of essentially plastic paint will allow you to chop and change colors to your heart’s content. Once upon a time, choosing the color of a car was a long process that involved a lot of consideration. These days it’s practically treated the same way as a phone cover.
This is the perfect accessory if you’re having a total identity crisis and suffer from the idea of committing to one shade for a few years.
Infinite Adjustability
Engineers often have a tendency of tying together electronically controlled car systems (the engine, throttle, or suspension) and creating “one-button” settings such as “economy”, “sport” or “comfort.” While adjustability can be useful, often these tweaks can strip it of its personality.
We all want a car to suit us but shouldn’t a car have a personality and not have built-in settings to match whatever mood you would like that day? Call us old fashion, but a car like this sounds like a sneaky chameleon.
Mobile Disco
When you can’t make the party, make yourself the party. These color-changing speakers that sync to the beat of the bass that boom from your speakers are not outrageous or distracting in the least. If you’re zooming down the street in the dark of night and these things are flashing directly into your face, you might have some trouble keeping your eyes on the road.
It might look cool for a few seconds, or even cooler if you’re parked, but these obnoxiously lit speakers scream “road hazard.” Especially if they are constantly changing colors. Also, the person who would have this no doubt listens to some bassy tunes. It might be an epileptic attack waiting to happen.
The Wind-Up Key
Cute for some, perhaps, ridiculous for everybody else that is subject to seeing this thing on the road. This wind-up key accessory is pretty tacky. If you’re the kind of person to have a wind-up key attached to your car, you’re probably the kind of person who connects a vroominator to the speaker as well.
In fact, if you are that kind of person, just for kicks and a few laughs, as you’re cruising down the street, wind up the key and then blast that vroom. See what happens.
The ‘Vroominator’
This is worse than actually jazzing up your exhaust pipe to make it sound like you have a more powerful car. This little device aptly called the ‘Vroominator’ does exactly that. The machine simply plugs into the car’s cigarette lighter, connects to the sound system, and voila, your car can instantly sound like a V8 engine. That booming vroom sound requires no tweaks.
You may as well just play a race car on loop on YouTube and connect it to a megaphone on your roof. This is a great way of letting the world know that you neither have an impressive car nor the mechanical know-how to improve it. If that’s what you’re happy with, then Vroominator is for you.
“Disappearing Tires”
Nothing looks cooler than super “low profile” tires that resemble the wheel of a child’s play car. Not to mention the bump factor of driving a car like that. The traction from the metal-to-rubber ratio is not quite right and rather uncomfortable.
The whole experience must be immensely unpleasant. Why this is considered a funky addition, we will never understand.
Floating Roofs
A real engineering marvel when it comes to roofs. Not. This silly addition is confusing to the eye, as well as the brain, in that it can’t really decide what kind of roof it is. Are you trying to fool us into thinking you’re a convertible? It doesn’t quite matter what kind of car it’s on. Whether it be an Aston Martin or a Nissan Murano, the design screams “trying too hard.”
It may supposedly create a light and airy feeling from the inside. Unfortunately, the majority of people get to experience your roof from the outside, so whatever feeling you get inside, it makes little difference to how it looks.
Asymmetrical Wheels
Turning a design flaw into a trend is seriously cringe-worthy. We don’t mean to get overly fussy here, but if you’re going to try “re-invent” the wheel, you better make it good. Adding an asymmetrical pattern to the wheel spokes just does not make for an innovative design. Nobody really wants to see wheels facing opposite directions on either side of the car.
People love funky wheels but this doesn’t really cut it. This is just an example of automakers taking quirky designs too far. In fact, it just evokes facepalming and head-scratching.
The “Carstache”
Much like the eyelashes, adding a fuzzy mustache to your car is just as ridiculous. The basic rule for cars is no facial hair. It doesn’t improve anything and no one will ever take you seriously.
We would, however, love to see the meeting between a grand mustachioed truck and a pretty-eyed little hatchback on the road. That might be a match made in heaven.
Eyelashes
This is not how you make your car look pretty. There are countless ways to pimp out your car, and while we have listed how awful the cringeworthy grilles, badges, and random wheel accessories out there are, they are still better than adding actual eyelashes to your headlights. These things make your car a literal cartoon.
Making the front of your car look like a fancy lady with mascara eyes, especially on a car like a BMW really ruins the general aesthetic of your car altogether. Please, before you start to entertain the idea, look at all your options.
Fake Bullet Holes
Honestly. Who really thought that they could get away with this. If you’re trying to get some undeserved street cred and look tough, be aware that firstly, it’s not terribly convincing, and secondly, if in the slightest chance someone does fall for it, it just makes you look like you from a bad neighborhood. In which case, we feel bad for you and your hardships.
If that’s the kind of attention you’re prepared to get over sticking fake bullet holes on your car, then best of luck. Just don’t act surprised when people laugh at you when they see you pull out of your fancy driveway.
The Tent Car
Kind of practical? Maybe. Incredibly dorky? Definitely! Attaching a giant tent to your car just really paints a different camping image. We like to venture off into the wild when we camp. Maybe even hike into a secluded area and leave the car in the garage. Driving into a camping spot and in a way, living out the comfort of a car just ruins the magic.
If you’re having trouble truly being in the outdoors then just be honest with yourself and stay indoors.
Slammed Trucks
You get “hopped up” cars and you then get “lowered cars.” This Sothern California type of look involves the removal of leafs, the heating, compressing, or the cutting of springs. Essentially, whatever you can do to lower a car as much as possible while not cutting half of it off. In the 90s, folks realized that they could take the air suspension from a semi-truck or bus and modify it to fit a car.
While the engineering behind it might be pretty nifty, the result doesn’t actually look great. This chunky thing that stands an inch from the ground just looks like a disaster waiting to happen.
Matte Paint
This “suede”, “satin”, “flat”, or quite simply the matte paint look is the non-glossy type of paint that certain traditionalists seem to favor. To others, it, just sort of looks like you’re driving around in a primer, AKA the base of paint you have before you fully coat your car. This silly fad is becoming weirdly popular and has been adopted by 4 wheelers, tuners, and racers.
The look was once something only sported by hot rods in the ’50s or ’60s. Cars such as Ferrari, Mercedes, and BMW are all offering matte paint alternatives. In fact, it feels like these days it’s harder to spot a car with a shiny finish at a high-end car show.
Showy Side Skirts
Racing teams have been using spoilers and side skirts to heighten performance for decades. The technology later on filtered down to streetcars and so on and so forth. As production increased, these additions weren’t really getting tested in wind tunnels anymore.
If these things have any effect on the car, it’s likely that they’re making cars slower. What’s worse, these skirts hang dubiously low to the ground, so a speed bump will easily tear off the whole thing altogether.
Painting Your Own Calipers
Colorful calipers were a thing in the late 1980s. With their large diameters, the breaks were way more visible to the eye, so the paint gave the car a vibrant little splash of color. Often these were painted red or green like on the Porsche’s Cayenne Turbo S models. Of course, like most trends, they tend to filter down to the masses, even when it’s not always suitable.
The colorful caliper look spawned a DIY paint craze. And it doesn’t look great. By painting these things yourself, not only are you making yourself look cheap, but you are also attracting attention to your very tiny breaks, making the whole thing look a little ridiculous. This trend is up there with fake car logos.
Hoodless Cars
Yeah, yeah. You think your engine looks cool after some minor tweaks and modifications and you now are compelled to show the world what’s inside. Aside from the fact that it’s illegal in many states, exposing it to natural elements like bad weather or debris is just going to really damage your car. Also, anyone with a car knows how an engine works. You made have added a few bells and whistles but these things are best left sealed under your hood.
A “naked” car is also a fantastic way to attract mischief-makers to do all kinds of horrible and unspeakable things to your car. Not that the person who drives a car like that is necessarily undeserving. Basically, cover it up.
Custom Black Velvet
If getting a black matte paint job wasn’t enough, there’s always this custom black velvet wrap to decorate your car. But as soon as one pigeon with good aim messes on this car, or bug spats over the hood, then consider it game over.
We can’t help but wonder, how they clean this car? Do they wash it like a regular car or get it dry cleaned? Considering it is velvet, it must need special treatment, otherwise, you’d just ruin the fabric.
Clumsy Shifters
Shifters today don’t necessarily need a mechanical link to the transmission. While this may be cool from a technological standpoint, these shifters tend to be placed in awkward ways or have some highly unnecessary knobs, levers and buttons all attached to them, making operation feel very counter-intuitive.
This is really about fixing something that ain’t broke. That’s the big issue with shifters. If we could all please just reinstate the classic lever with “PRNDL” printed on it, that would be great. Even manual gears if need be. Cars are difficult enough.
Fake Exhaust Tips
This performance fad of adding oddly shaped exhaust tips has really got to go. The strange accessory that attempts to take average and cheap cars to another level often just ends up appearing tacky. These “finishers” look somewhat convincing when standing a few meters away, but take a few steps closer and the whole thing becomes painfully obvious.
Once you’re standing up close you can see that the exhaust is quite simply a hole expelling nothing but recycled air from the rear end of the car. Useful.
Everyone Loves the Mud-flap Twins
The Mud-flap Girl is an iconic figure of a woman with what most men would call “the perfect body”, basically she’s shaped as close to an hourglass as possible and sitting in a very seductive pose, leaning back on her hands and enjoying the breeze. The name Mud-flap Girl got its origins from truckers sticking these logos on their mud-flaps (also known as mud guards) which are put as fenders to protect trucks from mud and flying debris that is thrown on the car by the tires’ fast spinning.
This design was originally formed in 1970 by Bill Zinda and is a staple of many trucks in Central America. The Mud-flap Girl often appears in tandem with a mirrored duplicate of her, making them the Mud-flap Twins. It’s been almost four decades since the inception of this icon, so perhaps it’s time to move past such old notions as they are good for nothing, passé, and honestly, a little degrading towards women.
Cars Don’t Wear Bras
One type of vinyl that is frankly a total abomination is the front-end bra, also known as the car bra, bonnet bra, front-end cover, and hood mask. This vinyl will make your car look like a mix between a German Shepard and a raccoon. It’s considered by some car enthusiasts as a fashion accessory but in our opinion, it’s an absolute monstrosity and just about ruins the look of every car that wears it.
The car bra not only looks bad but has even been argued to cause damage by retaining moisture and ruining a car’s aerodynamic quality. If you or your friends have considered buying one of these hood bras for your cars, please remember that just because you refer to your car in a female pronoun, doesn’t mean that it’s an actual female. Let’s repeat this together – cars don’t need bras.
Larger Than Life Spoilers
The purpose of a spoiler is to make your car more aerodynamic, leading to faster movement at a lower cost of air resistance. These devices are mostly used in sports cars and are important for the same reason that shaving a few milliseconds off an athlete’s sprint is important — because winning competitions matters. However, when you’re an average Joe who’s driving to work at 7 AM in the LA traffic, the last thing you need is a custom spoiler, especially a large ugly one that happens to weigh almost 100 pounds.
What are you going to do with it? Are you going to ride the airwave of your 20 miles per hour driving, as you barely succeed in weaving through traffic without using your turn signals? Trust us, the main problem with your car isn’t air resistance, it’s a weak engine. When you buy a fast enough car such as a Porsche Spyder, it will already come with an electronically engineered spoiler.
Fake Sports Car Logo Stickers
Car racing is a very luxurious sport, and like any other sport that attracts millions of viewers, you can expect sponsors to display their logos in as many places as possible. One of the ways that advertisers get to promote their brands in the car racing sport, is by having the competing car put their logos on various prominent parts of their bodies such as the doors, the roof, and the hood. It’s important to emphasize that these sponsors have paid MONEY, usually a lot of it, to appear on the vehicle. Car drivers aren’t doing it to appear cool, they are doing it to get paid.
This is why this new fad is truly baffling, where regular car owners put the logos of various corporations, for free, at their expense, literally taking the time to order, stick and drive their cars with logos of other businesses stuck to their sides. It’s one thing to put the logo of a business or brand you genuinely like and wish to promote, it’s a completely different thing to put random logos of famous corporations just to appear as if you were paid to do so. That’s like you going to a company’s office and pretending to work thereby cleaning their
Fake Hood Scoops
Many of the most expensive and powerful sports cars have scoops installed on their hoods because of the great need for cooling. This is most prevalent in cars that have over 500 horsepower and are usually able to drive upwards of 180 miles per hour. The purpose of the hood scoop is to help more air get into the engine and hopefully keep it cool while it produces an incredibly high amount of acceleration.
This critical engine cooler has been bastardized by consumers of average cars that do not need any extra cooling, and would not even be able to pass the speed necessary for it to actually be effective. These low-quality plastic hood scoops are usually made in China and can be bought on sites like Wish and eBay. Vehicle owners then glue them to their entry-level cars using cheap double-sided tape (that’s often included in the purchase of this pointless accessory). Everyone knows you don’t need a hood scoop, so it’s far better to ditch it and just save your dough until you can afford a better car.
Celebrity Shrines
While plastering a celebrity’s face all over your car sounds funny in theory, in practice, it is one of the ugliest trends that currently exist in the auto industry. There is a much lighter version of this trend, where someone would stick a decal of their favorite celebrity or character in one of the back windows to appear as if that person is actually sitting there.
This might be regarded as a nice and funny joke, assuming nobody actually sits in the back and is therefore not able to see out the window. If you love an actor or character so much that you feel the need to have posters of them, simply go to your room and hang one in there. Yes, one. Nobody on the road is interested in your favorite characters, so it’s better to leave that bit of trivia for your family and friends.
Completely Fake Cars
One of the absolute worst vehicle trends that is arguably worse than all the aforementioned trends combined, is turning your existing car into a completely different car by covering the external build with that of a much better and more expensive one. This is perhaps the weirdest and most confusing trend of them all, as anyone with even the most basic level of intelligence can immediately understand that your 2012 Honda Civic is not a Bugatti Veyron.
While this idea of making a cheap car look like one that costs millions of dollars is certainly funny in theory and could even provide for a wonderfully hilarious YouTube video, it’s hard for us to even comprehend the idea that there are everyday people out there driving around in these kinds of cars on a daily basis as-if this was totally normal behavior. FYI, it’s not.
Insect Cars With Six Wheels
While putting six wheels on your car may look cool in very rare circumstances, it’s actually a very bad idea. What ends up happening most often is that your car will turn into what could only be described as a vehicular insect, while losing a lot of its power due to added friction with the ground and it will suffer from some very bad steering due to having a messed up rotation. The middle tires are completely useless and non-functional, so why would you install something that doesn’t improve, and even causes harm to your driving experience on a machine designed meticulously to provide the maximum energy for the least amount of effort possible?
This is a really terrible fad, and thankfully not many people are even aware of it. Next time you’re walking down the street and see a six-wheeled car, don’t be mad at it because it’s not the car’s fault. Be mad at the owner who would experiment with a car like that, because no vehicle deserves that kind of treatment, not even an old Fiat Punto.
Fake Engine Growl
The rise of electric cars is a wonderful trend that will surely help accelerate technological improvements in the auto market while reducing negative impacts on the environment. Another benefit of electric cars is that they have much more efficient use of energy which leads to faster acceleration and more horsepower.
One unfortunate fad that accompanied the rise of electric vehicles is the demand for fake engine sounds in the interior of the car. We understand why you might want to have external engine sounds since electric cars are completely silent and this could lead to a higher rate of pedestrian collisions. Drivers, on the other hand, don’t need engine sounds to know that they’re driving. These engine sounds, which emanate from the stereo systems, are absolutely pointless and only serve to make the driver feel cooler while driving. BMW was one of the first to embrace these horrendous features, starting with their BMW I8. The option has since begun to appear in various other car companies such as Ford and Audi.
Big Cars With Tiny Wheels
The American ethos has always been “more, bigger and cheaper” and this has worked fairly well. Everything about the American economy is larger than life, from large dishes in restaurants, to large clothes in stores, up to larger-than-life vehicles in the form of super SUVs and pickup trucks that challenge anyone’s sense of what proper size should be. It’s perfectly fine to want bigger wheels, up to a limit, but the abomination we’re about to describe is a completely different beast.
One trend that has recently begun, which acts as a sort of a counterculture movement to the need for everything to be bigger, is having tiny wheels on very big cars – like the car in the picture above. This trend is an absolute disaster on multiple levels. First, it’s one of the most ridiculous things anyone can do to their cars, let alone ugly. And second, it’s extremely unsafe and will likely cause you to end up in a car wreck. Please… just… don’t do this.
Please Don’t Buy Stick-On Vents
Look, we get it. You were surfing eBay and happened to stumble across a category called ‘car accessories’, then you said to yourself “Let’s check out what’s new in the way of stick-on can accessories” (or something to that extent). You look at some cool car accessories, before suddenly noticing that you can buy these really cool vents for $5. Did we say really cool? Sorry, we meant unnecessary and tacky. “What’s this?” you ask yourself. These are stick-on vents, otherwise known as one of the most idiotic inventions this world has ever seen.
Stick-on vents serve no practical purpose, as they don’t actually vent any of the air. Their only goal is to make your car look cooler because it needs vents to stay cool with all its 98 horsepower and zero to sixty in 12 seconds motor. Nobody looks at a 2008 Honda Accord with stick-on vents and thinks, “Wow, this is a modified Accord!”. Their first thought is usually something like: “oh wow, what a waste of time and money.” So spare yourself the judgment, just don’t buy these things, especially since they only cost $5..
Truck Fender Flares And Non-Off-road Wheels
When you’re an avid off-road driver, one important piece of equipment for your car or truck is fender flares. This equipment helps protect your SUV or truck from all the dangers that threaten your car such as flying rocks, mud, and debris. These are very important for many reasons, primarily safety, but as a bonus to you off-road drivers, they also end up looking pretty cool.
One thing that fender flares require, however, is for you to actually be driving off-road in order to need them. If you get fender flares for your truck or SUV but the wheels are clearly made for regular roads, it just comes off as weird and completely out of place. If you can’t afford to get proper 4×4 tires, there’s no reason to buy fender flares. That would be like going to your high school dance in your football helmet, you’d look out of place and everyone will think that something is wrong with your head.
Holographic Paint
If someone wanted an attention-seeking car, this is it. Sure it will grab everyone’s attention, but the razzle-dazzle paint job will also blind anyone who sees it while they’re walking on the street.
If you’re thinking of painting your car a new, eye-catching color, we’d suggest you think twice!
Too Many Undeserving Red Cars
Some of the world’s most expensive and powerful cars have specific colors attached to them. Anyone can instantly tell you that Ferraris should be bought in red, and should be driven with the sunroof down, for example. If you Google the word “Ferrari”, practically all the images that will come up will be red. They just about own that color. Lamborghini has sort of taken the color yellow, but they tend to change colors every once in a while. Other than that, no car has any dominion over a specific color, so next time you’re getting a car and it’s not a Ferrari, consider avoiding the color red.
This is a color reserved only for the fastest and meanest cars out there, as red signifies intensity, desire, and a challenge in nature. It’s literally meant to grab attention and act as an arousal symbol, which is part of the reason why women wear red lipstick and “stop” signs are always red. Red means danger, so if your car isn’t dangerous, perhaps it would be best to just skip the color. A lesson in subtlety could go a long way, and there’s nothing better than being positively surprised by a fast car that doesn’t scream to the world “Look at me! I’m a supercar!”
Extreme Camber Angles
Camber angles are vertical angles in which the wheels of a vehicle are held. For some strange reason, some people have discovered that you can use extreme camber on regular vehicles and sports cars to make them appear like alien vehicles. See the way the wheels in this picture turn upwards? This is not only one of the worst looks your car can have, but it also leads to horrible steering, extreme tire wear, higher fuel costs, and a dramatically higher chance of getting yourself into a dangerous accident. That’s not to mention the fact that your car now takes a lot more space – and might not even fit in some narrow streets.
Why someone would ruin their car’s look and handling is beyond us. We’re not saying that it’s bad to use a slight amount of camber, which might even improve the look and feel of the car. But when you go so extreme that people have to stop and stare, you know you’re probably doing something wrong. Our next trend involves people making their cars completely black. Why would anyone even do this? Up next.
You Just Went Full Black, Everybody Knows You Never Go Full Black
A relatively new fad that began in recent years is the decision to paint your car entirely in black. We don’t just mean making the car mostly appear black, rather completely darkening any part of the car (except the headlights) to make it literally as dark as possible. Beyond being slightly less safe at night, this trend serves nobody as it doesn’t contribute in any way to you looking “cool” or “edgy”.
Your car is just a car, and unless you own a luxury sports car or a vehicle that would demand attention just by its quality and build, there’s no reason to try and bolster its look using darker colors. This trend appears at its worst when van owners decide to paint their large and boxy cars black, as this mostly serves to frighten people and usually doesn’t bring any wanted visions to mind. We’re not saying that cars need to be light and colorful, but we are asking for some consideration and restraint when it comes to your choice of external design.
Tiny Cars
One of the most entertaining trends that have hit the streets, as a result, the new smart cars that hit the roads in the last decades, is what is often referred to as “short cars” or “smushed cars”. This image is no optical illusion, rather it’s an example of someone who’s jealous of the wonderful ability that smart cars have of being able to fit into almost any parking spot, oftentimes in a perpendicular fashion.
This image is just one example of a guy who turned his Corvette into a mini car. These are very badly designed cars as they literally took a regular working car and mashed their features into a smaller structure. if you’re so interested in having a short car, it’s best to just buy a mini.
Exaggerated Sound Systems
One of the most annoying trends that have only gotten worse as electronics have become cheaper is installing an exaggerated sound system in your normal-sized car. There are numerous videos on YouTube of bass-boosted systems, loud enough to shatter windows and make women’s hair stand on end, making the rounds and becoming viral sensations. There is little to no use for these such systems though, unless one has the desire to eventually deafen themselves.
Nowadays, any kid with a few hundred bucks can buy a vicious sound system that is overqualified for even the loudest of situations. These kids, usually driving a car that costs less than many adults make per month, subsequently drive these cars around neighborhoods at night and wake up the poor residents to music that is just as foul and disturbing as the sound systems look in their automobiles. Luckily, there are laws against these things, and any teenager caught playing music at a volume higher than a rock concert will quickly regret it when they get pulled over and fined.
Homemade Pickup Sedans
There’s a reason why car manufacturers spend literally hundreds of millions of dollars just for developing new cars that they’re working on. It takes work, a lot of work, and is usually done by a huge team of very talented engineers with a vast record of successful projects and the backing of an international multi-billion dollar company. When you sit in your garage and try to make a pickup truck out of your Corvette, the results will probably disappoint, more often than not.
The reason that it’s not a good idea to mess with your car to that extent is that you’re probably not a car engineer, and even if you are, you don’t have the resources, experience, and backing that a career car engineer has. So try to avoid turning your sedan into a pickup truck, it doesn’t really work and it looks absolutely atrocious. If you really need a pickup truck, they can be bought for quite cheap in the United States due to their high demand.
Fart Exhaust
You knew we were going to cover these abominations at some point, so let’s get it out of the way. Supercars and muscle cars that have a high amount of horsepower sound just incredible. You can take them and replace the exhaust with a straight pipe and you’ll get an even more aggressive sound. On the other hand, taking your 2008 BMW 1-Series or 2009 Subaru Impreza and putting a big, fat exhaust tip on it to make it sound like someone put a laxative in your engine, is one of the worst crimes you can ever do to a car.
First of all, putting a large exhaust on a basic car is like putting a megaphone on a baby cat to make it sound like a lion. News flash – it won’t. Secondly, even if your car does sound a bit better (despite being loud and annoying), it’s still immediately visible to anyone with sight to notice that it’s not accelerating in proportion to the sound that’s produced by the exhaust. Instead of buying one of these, why not just save the money and invest in improving your vehicle’s horsepower? There is not a single person in the world who woke up thinking “I just love the beautiful sound of a straight piped Fiesta in the morning.” Do yourself and the environment a favor, don’t buy fart-tip exhausts.
Armor Plated Vehicles
The only car owners that should have armor plates on their cars are derby drivers and secret agents that have to protect very important people from being shot at. We’re not even talking about the fact that most of these armor platings are just fake stickers – of course, but the point being is – unless you’re expecting a bullet to be fired your way in the near future, making your car look like something taken out of the film Mad Max: Fury Road, is an absolute waste of your time and of everyone’s attention.
These steel platings make your car look weird, clunky, and a lot less appealing. When the apocalypse finally arrives and humanity will have to fight through vehicular warfare to survive, we’ll be right there with you with these armor platings. Up until then, it would probably be best to drive your car like a normal person and not simulate a World War III fighting scenario.
Faking That Patina
As cars grow older and mature, they start getting patina on their bodies. This type of vehicular degradation tells a beautiful and compelling story of the car’s long life and experience. It’s almost like the appreciation that you get for being battle-scarred and full of grey hair, and since cars are somewhat built to remind us of people’s faces, it only stands to note that we subsequently give vehicles with patina a certain trait of wisdom.
However, when you take a relatively new car and put a patina coat on it, it’s almost like painting your hair and beard grey just to appear older and smarter. Everyone can clearly see through this fake stunt, and you end up looking young and stupid. Sorry, but it’s quite clearly visible that your 3-year-old Audi A3 does not have patina, especially not on its plastic bits. Our next fad will annoy anyone who has a working sense of hearing and a common sense of decency. You probably already know exactly what we’re talking about…
Personal and Political Bumper Stickers
While central states of America have their fair share of car fads, such as the aforementioned bro trucks, these are not nearly as common and annoying as the Eastern states’ fad of putting various political and personal stickers on the back of their cars. There is not a single person in the world who ever saw a political sticker and thought “Hey! I’m going to vote for that guy!”. Not a single political opinion was ever changed, and not a single person ever thought you were cooler for having a sticker that tells a funny knock-knock joke or tells the world what you like to eat.
This fad is almost exclusively found in Canada and North America, and we would be more than happy to see it go away altogether. People who drive behind you don’t care about your environmental opinions, your political leanings, where you went to school, or what you think about yourself – they just want to get to wherever they’re going and by putting on a sticker – you’ve labeled yourself as a someone we don’t want to see on the road. Ever.
Transparent Fiberglass To Show Off Your Speakers
So you went ahead and paid thousands of dollars for that completely useless overqualified pair of speakers we discussed earlier, fine. Enjoy ruining your hearing and making neighbors feel very uncomfortable. Some people like to take their fad a step further though, and add a horrendous visual element to their already terrible audio device. They do this by adding invisible fiberglass interiors which directly show the speakers, allowing you to see the full glory of your money badly spent.
We guess the idea is that if you’re going to spend a lot of money on speakers that you’re not even going to use, why not at least let the world know that you have the ability to make windows explode with your high-decibel sounds. This is just the second level of an already bad mistake, like when you have a bad day because you showed up late for work, and then you also proceed to yell at your boss to make things even worse.
Your Car A Little Too Shiny
Some people treat their cars like celebrities treat their faces in films. There definitely is such a thing as an overly-shiny vehicle, where it would appear that the vehicle’s owner spends more time making sure his car is polished and beautiful than they do on more important activities like being great husbands, parents, or earning money.
It’s almost unbelievable that these men consider the obsessive cleaning of their car as “manly” while laughing at women who have to check every 30 minutes that their makeup is well applied. Car owners like this remind us of King Xerxes from Zac Snyder’s film 300. The villain was often mocked for being a very metro-sexual guy and having way too much bling and earrings. If you don’t mind giving out this image, fine, but just be aware that you’ll never be allowed to criticize anyone for being obsessed with their beauty if you don’t want to be labeled a hypocrite ever again.
Unnecessary Dashboard Covers
One of the more absurd interior cosmetic fads in recent years is the invention of the dash cover. These pieces of cloth were originally built on two very dubious assumptions. The first assumption was that if you let your dash stay exposed to the sun it will eventually start cracking, which is true in theory but let’s be real here, have you ever seen a cracked dashboard? The second assumption that dash covers were made on, is that you don’t want your dashboard collecting dust over time for… a reason.
Anyway, these are the two reasons for which the dashboard cover was invented. There is also the hidden third reason for dashboard covers, which is cosmetics. People love to customize their cars, even if to do so they must add some of the weirdest and most inappropriate-looking gear. As long as it’s been customized, meaning that it’s yours, you’re happy. While there admittedly are some dashboard covers that provide actual utility, such as those with high friction that allows you to put phones on them, most of these are just a waste of your time and money since they’ll probably start degrading just a few months after purchasing them anyway.
A Fully Transparent Car
This trend is a throwback to the 90s when electronic devices were all designed with transparent cases. Too bad we’ve left the 90s and now this just looks tacky.
Never mind that, it can’t be safe to drive at night and how uncomfortable must it be to drive, knowing everyone can see everything inside your car. We’ll have to pass on this one!
Rotating Lambo Doors
Lambo doors, also known as vertical doors or scissor doors, are one of the worst fads to hit cars in the past few decades. The first car to actually invent these types of doors was the 1968 Alfa Romeo Carabo concept car (not Lamborghini). The style was appropriated by Lamborghini who was the first to produce a street-legal car with these doors. What makes this fad even worse is that it’s extremely profitable, as many companies have been founded for the sole purpose of adding Lambo doors to regular cars.
While these doors look incredible on Lamborghini cars, they make any other cars look like the home of everything frat-boy-related. News flash – you don’t look cool when you struggle to raise the door on your 2015 Ford Escalade or Fiat Mini. These doors just make the car look weird and clunky, which is the last thing you want if you actually care what your vehicle looks like, it’s also much less safe than a conventional door in case of a rollover. Please, if you’re that interested in Lambo doors, just buy a second-hand Lambo.
Angry Jeep Grills
As we’ve stated before, it almost seems that cars are men’s outlets for their stylistic and fashion needs. Some guys take these opportunities a bit further than they should and treat their cars like pets whom they’ve groomed to look intimidating. The jeep’s angry face front is one of the most bizarre fads that have recently hit markets, basically turning your car into a frowning old lady that’s always in a bad mood. What’s the point of your car having eternal RBF (resting b**** face – for those who were wondering)?
The only time you get to enjoy your car’s angry face is when you point it at some of your friends so that they will notice that you actually spent time and hard-earned money on the incredibly dumb activity of designing an angry-looking face on your vehicle. Don’t make your jeep look angry, let it stay just the way it is and enjoy the rest of your life. Besides, having your Jeep’s girlfriend come home to a face like that can’t possibly help their Jeep on Jeep relationship.
Fake Badges and Labels
Many cars have a much more expensive variation that includes a stronger engine and more high-end equipment. The Ford Mustang for example has a much faster version called the Mustang GT, which has about 20% more horsepower than the former. Another example is the Jaguar F-Type, the car also includes a much stronger version called the F-Type R, which has 4 exhaust tips instead of 2 and about 30% more horsepower.
Some car owners choose to go for the cheaper versions, which is completely their choice, but then they proceed to purchase the badge for the stronger version and glue it onto their cars as if they had purchased the more expensive one. There’s nothing more cringy than watching a Mustang with a GT badge that’s clearly not a GT, or an F-Type with an R on it that could not pose to be an F-Type R even in its dreams. Most people don’t quite notice the difference, as they most likely don’t even know what the labels mean, but car enthusiasts will immediately notice various subtle changes in body and performance, which will indicate to them that you’re just a fraud. In other words, this behavior doesn’t pay, so it’s better if you just avoid those urges until you can purchase the real thing.
The Cartoon Interior
One of the only trends on this list that actually applies mostly to women is the cutesy interior trend. Car owners, usually female, will decorate their entire vehicle with pink colors, Hello Kitty stickers and seats, many toys that either move when you drive or are powered by solar energy, and more. The most terrible aspect of these cars in our opinion is the handbrake. It’s enough to look at the image above to realize what a disgusting and horrible trend this is.
Vehicles are tools meant to get us from one place to another in the fastest, safest, most efficient way possible. This is not Barbie’s dream house and it’s not a 6-year-old’s bedroom either. Nobody knows how or why Hello Kitty has become the main villain in this trend. Perhaps it was a premeditated commercial plan, or maybe it just organically happened. Scooby-Doo is also an occasional cause for this trend, although in that case the reasons why are clear. Either way, please don’t let anyone you know do this to their car.
Tank Cars
Some people have taken it upon themselves to turn their vehicles into real-life tanks. The reason? Nobody knows. Perhaps some of us like pretending we’re in a World War simulator or in a video game where these kinds of vehicles can be found in mass. To be honest, there’s really no reason for this fad to exist.
Whoever asked for these modifications must have a lot of spare money or a very weird fascination with tanks. We can’t help but notice how the car’s headlights look like funny eyes while the rear of the car tries to be a serious tank. The camouflage definitely helps though, as the car can barely be seen on the surface of the grass… not.
You Are Not The Dark Knight
The Batmobile, Batman’s official car, is probably one of the most popular fictional cars in the world. It was originally invented by Bill Finger and Bob Kane in 1939, so it doesn’t matter when you were born – if you’re a Batman fan, you’ve grown up with the Batmobile. The car has appeared in almost all of the major depictions of the superhero, from comic books to films and animated series, and is even playable in the Batman: Arkham video games series.
Many fans have attempted to make their inner child happy by purchasing or crafting cars that are supposed to look like the Batmobile. We’ve seen everything from modified SUVs to customized Lamborghinis, all attempting to recreate the glory of the vehicle. The closest thing we’ve ever seen to a real-life Batman is Zac Mihajlovic from Camden, Australia, who hand-built his very own street-legal Batmobile based on the classic car from the 1989 film with Michael Keaton. No matter what you try to create or purchase, don’t forget – you are not Batman.
Donks. Yup. Donks.
Arguably the most hated car fad in existence, donks are ridiculously large wheels that make your car look like something out of a kid’s Saturday morning cartoon. These are the big and clumsy wheels that often come with the dumbest paint jobs and accessories you’ll ever see. The coolness factor of these larger-than-life tires is equivalent to a regular-sized man in clown shoes. While not dangerous, donks will absolutely wreck your spine by ruining any semblance of bump softening, and will also destroy any chance for smooth handling.
This is seriously one of the worst car trends that have plagued the automotive industry. If you have friends that do this, please ask them to stop. If you know someone who’s considering installing one of these, refer them to the nearest psychiatric facility and ask them to admit themselves there until the urge subsides.
Dark Headlight and Taillight Vinyl’s
Besides getting us from point A to point B, the most important car features are the way they are built for maximum safety. Since losing your life in a car crash has never been a goal for the average consumer, we, as a society, tend to care about safety measures. One of the most important pieces of equipment that help create safety in your car is your headlights and taillights. These parts of the car serve two functions — they illuminate the road in front of you, and they help drivers behind you stay aware of your location and distance. Why would anyone even consider making these critical lights less effective by tinting them into a specific color, or even worse, darkening them altogether?
We ask ourselves how could anyone actually care so much about looking cool that they’d be willing to risk a car crash when driving at night. If looking cool is that big of a deal, why not work hard and save the money to be able to afford a brand new Mercedes with the latest high-resolution multi-beam LED technology? That would be much cooler (and safer) at the same time.
Underbody Glow Lights
What most people who purchase underbody lights don’t realize, is that these lights are actually illegal in the United States while driving. This means the only time you’d be able to show off some of these super cool under-glow lights, legally, is by illuminating the driveway of your parked car. Not so cool after all.
If you’re thinking of breaking the law because you just can’t help your desire to light up the road beneath your car while driving we would like to just mention… in case you didn’t know, there’s nothing inherently interesting about roads. So you get some cracks here and there, and maybe a piece of gum that sticks to your tires. But other than that, the only place you should illuminate the road is in the direction of your driving, and that’s for the purpose of seeing where you’re going. Underbody glows are an absolute waste of your money, and you’re much better off buying these neon lights for your bedroom, where you’ll at least get the chance to use and enjoy them without the chance of getting a ticket on the way.
Fake Woodie Style Using Wood Panels
Woodie cars were popular styles of the body for vehicles during the ’40s and ’50s, especially for station wagons. These vehicles had real and sometimes fake wood on the side doors that augmented the car’s structure. Obviously, this style of build didn’t survive through the decades, since metal is a far more durable and reliable material than wood.
However, some people have chosen to put fake wooden vinyl and panels on their vehicles as a way to pay homage to the classic wooden style of the mid-20th century, and we have to say – it doesn’t look good. The main culprits of this trick are people who own popular Ford, GM, and Chrysler models, as they often seem to display a weird longing for cars of older times. Things have seriously moved forward since then and you’re about ten times safer today in a modern car than you were in a 1937 Ford Deluxe Station Wagon. This is a good thing, people. If you’re not a fan of stick-on vents, this next fad will annoy you even more.
The Bro Truck Phenomenon
If you have the fortune of traveling to the wild Southeastern United States, you might spot one of the worst fads that have recently hit that area like the bubonic plague. Everywhere you look you’ll find truck drivers sitting in fake lifted trucks, often referred to as “bro trucks”. These cars have huge lifts, and horrible customized grills and often sport some of the world’s most hideous chrome-plated wheels.
These cars aren’t functionally superior in any way, which means that they’re basically the male equivalent of high-heels. Of course, you can’t say this to the bro truck’s driver, because he’s probably busy listening to some pop-country song while drunk on some Bud Light beer and carrying a semi-auto rifle. One of the biggest elements of the bro car is a reliance on the largest exhaust tips that can possibly be mounted on the truck, this is the man’s way of making himself feel like his manhood is worth something. Our next entry includes one of the worst car door fads in the world.
Car Wrapping Paper
Sometimes car owners get inspired by Saudi Princes and the way they plate their Mercedes and BMWs with anything expensive, ranging from gold to diamonds. In fact, the world’s most expensive Mercedes was a $4.8 million Mercedes SL600 which was completely covered with 300,000 diamonds. There’s no denying that this is one of the most gorgeous cars in the world, but it doesn’t mean that putting ugly vinyl wraps on your car to pretend you have a luxurious vehicle is a good thing.
This person coated their car to look like a Louis Vuitton bag. If the design of this wrap isn’t bad enough, most people rely on cheap reflections to coat their cars and often end up blinding the person who’s trying to look at the car or simply disappear whenever a strong light is pointed at them. There’s a very simple rule with wraps — if it costs less than $50 and can be bought on Wish or eBay, it’s probably not the right choice.
